dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
