Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
