If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
