Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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