last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
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