also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
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I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
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All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
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