You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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