I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
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you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
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Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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