Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
