My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Randomize
