omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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