Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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