woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
