i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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