she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point