it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.