So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I looked at my own cervix.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?