Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
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Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
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She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.