OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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