exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
