how hairy? two words: wookie tits
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
Randomize
