We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
it glows. i had to have it.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
