She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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