the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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