I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
Randomize