Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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