Tell her she can't have a vagina
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
