thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
