so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
she smelled like a LAN party
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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