We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
