ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
