Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
the day after is always just damage control
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
