Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
