I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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