Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
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