Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
