clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
