He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
