I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
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