I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
