i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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