Please, let me fuck your mom
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Who died my cat blue again?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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