dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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