You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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