You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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