she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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