So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
