just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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