She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Randomize
