dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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