was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
