I'm jealous of your bromance
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
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I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
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