it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize