She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
