North Korea, Best Korea!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Your penis caused this!
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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