I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
How external is "for external use only"?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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