Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
