Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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