Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
love makes seman taste better
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
