Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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