Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
